Artemis II’s astronauts packed their wedding rings, notebooks and a supply of maple syrup. Here’s what our writers would fly to the moon

You really want me to review my buy? Yes, it was fine. But that is where I would like our relationship to end

When I buy something online, I don’t want to receive more than two emails: one to confirm my order has been received, and another to tell me when it will be delivered. The numerous notifications we receive while browsing, buying and then waiting for delivery are presumably meant to be reassuring. But since when is harassment reassuring?

Imagine a world in which the second you walk into a shop, someone taps you on the shoulder and asks: “Can I help you today?” Then someone asks for your email address in exchange for a 5% discount. When you find what you are looking for and place it in your basket, this instigates more nuisance. “Hurry! Twenty-one other people have this in their basket too!” Of course 21 other people have this in their basket, it’s shower gel and a significant number of people shower. This doesn’t make you rush. It makes you thrilled that the consensus remains in favour of personal hygiene. You wander around the shop a bit more. Someone grabs your arm. “There is still an item in your basket. Don’t forget to check out!”

Athena Kugblenu is a comedian and writer