The live-action remake of Disney’s hit animation is out this Friday and meme-makers have been speaking bald truths about The Rock’s nylon mop

Disney’s new live-action Moana remake might not have a lot to recommend it – like so many of its ilk it carries a creepy unreality that makes the whole thing look like a liminal ChatGPT hallucination – but it does boast one element that may very well carry it towards the gates of immortality. I am, of course, talking about Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson’s wig.

Some context. The biggest draw of the live-action Moana is that Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson reprises his role from the original, as the egotistical shapeshifting demigod Maui. And this presented something of a problem. You see, Maui is characterised by many things – his tattoos, his exuberance – but none more so than his hair. Maui has the long and flowing hair of a being unencumbered by the onset of male pattern baldness. The hair is where Maui gets most of his personality. It makes him the personified spirit of virility itself.

Johnson reprises his role from the original animation and has fine rapport with his young co-star Catherine Laga’aia, but the whole enterprise feels cynical and pointless

Disney’s animated super-hit Moana from 2016 – having been followed up by a dull sequel two years ago – now gets a competent but basically pointless and unexciting back-to-basics live-action remake. Screenwriter Jared Bush modifies his original script, Broadway stage veteran Thomas Kail makes his movie directing debut and Lin-Manuel Miranda’s songs are revived. Nineteen-year-old Australian Samoan actor Catherine Laga’aia takes the role of Moana, the headstrong teen daughter of a Polynesian chief; her wise and kindly grandma Tala, who recognises Moana’s heroic leadership destiny, is played by New Zealand actor Rena Owen.

Moana has to go on a quest to restore the heart of the goddess Te Fiti, the lack of which is causing an eco-crisis on her home island of Motunui. To do this, she must join forces with the swaggeringly arrogant demigod Maui, in which role Dwayne Johnson returns in his own actual person, which is almost as cartoonishly muscly and vast as the animated version. Maui has a spurious quest of his own, to retrieve the hook which is the source of his power and to do this he must confront his own nemesis. This is the giant crab Tamatoa, which as before is voiced by Jemaine Clement and is a character which is of course just a 3D animated version of the 2D cartoon original, like Heihei, Moana’s less-than-hilarious pet chicken.

Adaptation of Stephen Merchant’s 2019 film about WWE champ Saraya-Jade Bevis ‘will be an absolute blast’, says one of the film’s stars, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson

Stephen Merchant’s wrestling film Fighting With My Family has inspired a stage musical. The new adaptation of the 2019 biopic about Saraya-Jade Bevis AKA Paige, who became a World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) champ, will feature a book and lyrics by Jon Brittain and music by Miranda Cooper and Nick Coler.

The film starred Florence Pugh as Bevis, who was born into a wrestling family in Norwich and became a WWE star in the US at 18 after a chaotic childhood. Written and directed by Merchant, it co-starred Dwayne Johnson in character as The Rock. Merchant said that when he was making the film he “always thought of it like a musical: a young woman from the ‘chorus line’ fighting to get her big break, surrounded by theatrical, larger-than-life characters and huge sweeping emotions”. Merchant said that he even approached each wrestling match in the film as if it was a new dance number, “building to a big show-stopping finale”. He added: “The team have captured the humour, grit and heart of the story in a way that feels both faithful to the film and completely fresh.”

It was a great year for Sinners and One Battle After Another but films with megastars like George Clooney, Julia Roberts and The Rock all struggled

Last year’s Oscars narrative might have been more about the little films that could, from The Brutalist to Anora to Emilia Pérez, but this year has become closer to the opposite with big-budget films like Sinners, One Battle After Another and Frankenstein all leading the way.

It’s therefore not quite as easy to explain why some of Hollywood’s biggest stars, from Julia Roberts to Dwayne Johnson to George Clooney to Emily Blunt to Adam Sandler, found themselves removed from the race. So here goes …